Our Home Buying Journey and Next Steps

Buying a home is supposed to feel like a cinematic moment. The keys slide across the closing table. Everyone smiles. You step into your new place and immediately feel like life has changed. Our experience was a little less cinematic.

It was one of the most stressful, complicated, and strangely anticlimactic experiences of 2025. And yet, it was also the beginning of one of the most exciting chapters for our family.

We bought a condo. And while that might sound simpler, anyone familiar with the condo buying process (especially in New York) knows it comes with its own set of challenges. In addition to navigating the normal steps of the home buying process, we also had to go through board approval, submit mountains of financial documentation, and essentially convince a group of strangers that we were a good fit for the building.

The closing itself went surprisingly smooth. But the road to get there had plenty of ups and downs, a few moments of doubt, and more paperwork than I ever thought possible.

This post is the beginning of a new series here on Lilies and Loafers where my wife and I will be sharing our full home buying journey, along with everything that followed: renovations, decisions, wins, and mistakes. Our process of turning this new place into a home for our family.

Moving from New York City to the Suburbs

Like a lot of families over the last few years, Fatima and I had been thinking about buying a home for a long time.

For fifteen years we rented apartments in and around New York City. Different neighborhoods, different apartments, different stages of life. Our homes changed as our lives changed. First it was just the two of us. Then our family grew. Eventually the energy of the city started to feel a little different than it once had.

When we finally made the decision to move from New York City to the suburbs, we knew one thing immediately: we weren’t going to rush into buying a home. Instead, we rented. Looking back, it was one of the smartest decisions we made during this entire process.

There’s a lot of pressure around buying a home quickly when you move somewhere new. But the truth is, you don’t really know a town until you live in it. You can visit on a Saturday afternoon. You can drive through neighborhoods and imagine what life might look like there. But those snapshots don’t always tell the full story.

Living somewhere reveals the details that matter:

• What does the commute feel like on a Tuesday morning?
• Are there parks nearby where the kids actually want to spend time?
• Is the town walkable and are they friendly, or does everyone keep to themselves?
• What does the town feel like on a random Wednesday night?

Renting for nearly five years in this town, gave us time to figure all of that out. Over time we fell in love with the community, the parks, schools, and the rhythm of the neighborhood. Families pushing strollers, kids riding bikes, neighbors stopping to talk to each other.

We realized this was the place we wanted to settle.

Renting vs Buying

One thing I will always recommend to anyone moving somewhere new is to consider renting before buying.

Unless you know an area extremely well, buying a home right away can feel a little like a guessing game. Sometimes people get lucky and land in the perfect spot. But I’ve also seen the opposite happen. Friends who bought quickly in towns that didn’t feel right once the novelty wore off. Renting removes that pressure and allows you to experience the town as a resident rather than as a visitor.

For us, renting also gave us time to really understand what we wanted in a long-term home. When you’re not rushing to make an offer, you notice different things. Layouts that work for family life. Streets that feel quiet but connected. Buildings that feel well cared for. And perhaps most importantly, the people around you.

For most of our fifteen years renting, we were incredibly lucky with our neighbors. I hear horror stories about difficult neighbors. We were very lucky and we found the kind of neighbors who made our buildings feel like a community.

Then, about two years ago, something changed. One of our favorite neighbors, a fellow family with young kids, moved out. A new couple moved in.

Without going into the full story, the dynamic shifted quickly. All of our neighbors turned over. The apartment we had been perfectly happy in for years suddenly felt different.

That experience became one of the biggest motivators for us to move forward with buying a home. It’s funny, because when we moved into that rental, Fatima and I had made an agreement: the next time we move, it was going to be for the last time.

Starting Our Home Buying Journey

If you were trying to buy a home during the pandemic, you remember exactly what it felt like. Houses were flying off the market in hours. Bidding wars were the norm. Open houses sometimes felt more like auctions than home tours.

Fatima and I visited at least a dozen homes during that period. And to be honest, many of those experiences were frustrating. At one open house I remember the realtor greeting us by saying, “Welcome. I don’t know why we’re doing this, we already have multiple offers.” The funny part? That house never sold. I watched it sit on the market (abnormal for that time).

We had similar experiences at several other homes. A lot of rushed conversations. A lot of people clearly assuming the house would sell no matter how they treated potential buyers.

Until we met our realtor. She was different: friendly, patient, willing to answer questions. The kind of person who understood that buying a home is a huge decision, not just a transaction. We didn’t end up making an offer on the house we toured with her that day, but something about that experience stuck with us.

Five years later, when we were finally ready to seriously begin our home buying journey, she was the first person we called.

The House That Got Away

Not long after reconnecting with our realtor, we found a property we loved. It was a condo in a great area. Walkable. Bright. Full of potential.

We moved quickly. Our realtor connected us with lenders, lawyers, and a network of professionals who could guide us through the home buying process. Everyone on this team we assembled was incredibly helpful. But the market was still competitive.

Our offer came in nearly 20 percent over asking, and we waived nearly all concessions. At the time it felt like a strong offer. We thought we had a real shot. In the end, it wasn’t accepted.

Anyone who has gone through the home buying process knows how emotional that moment can be. Even when you try not to get attached, it’s hard not to imagine what life might look like in that space.

For a few days we were pretty disappointed. But we kept reminding ourselves of something simple: the right home for us was still out there.

The Listing That Changed Everything

Then we saw it: the listing that would eventually become our home.

It appeared in the middle of August, right before our family was scheduled to leave for a summer vacation. The timing made things tricky because we were worried we would miss the open house completely.

Our realtor arranged a private showing before we left town. The moment we walked inside, something clicked. It’s hard to describe that feeling when a place just feels right. Not perfect. Not finished. But right. The energy of the space felt aligned with ours.

It reminded me of the first time I walked onto the campus of my alma mater. There was just an instinctive feeling that this was where I was supposed to be. And honestly, it reminded me of the first time I met Fatima. When you know, you know.

We submitted our offer. And that kicked off what would become a three-month journey through contracts, approvals, financial reviews, and board interviews before we finally closed on our first home.

Surviving the Condo Board Approval Process

If you’ve never gone through a condo board approval process, imagine applying for a mortgage and a job interview at the same time. The amount of paperwork required is impressive: financial statements, letters of recommendation, employment verification, tax documents, bank records, personal history.

There were moments where it felt like the process might never end. But eventually we received the email we had been waiting for: board approval.

The closing followed and just like that, the keys were ours.

The Real Adventure Begins

Standing in the condo after closing was a strange moment. Not because the space didn’t feel right. It absolutely did. But because this place was ours, but it wasn’t quite move-in ready.

It needed a lot of work to right size it for our family. And the potential it held, was a big reason why we loved it.

Over the next several months, we’ll be documenting our home renovation journey as we transform every major room in our condo. From budget decisions to DIY projects and room reveals, this series will share exactly what it takes to turn a house into a home. The spaces we’re tackling:

• Living room
• Dining room
• Primary suite
• Kids room
• Built-in office
• Kitchen
• Outdoor terrace

Along the way we’ll be sharing the real experience of renovating a home with a family, including: the planning, mistakes, design decisions, the budget trade-offs, and the small moments that helped turn this house into our home.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to balance work, kids, and a renovation project, you’re about to see exactly how it unfolds. This is just the beginning of our home buying and renovation journey. And we’re excited to share it with you.

Our Home Buying and Renovation Series